There are many ways a
mother is born.
Today we celebrate Birth, Surrogate,
Adoptive, Foster, and Stepmoms.
Meegan
shares her experience of motherhood through adoption, and all of the emotions
that go with it.
“Being an adoptive mom changed so many of my beliefs about myself,
and other moms. The moment when I realized just how far reaching our
decision to adopt Reeve had really progressed was when a neighbor announced
that they were going to have a baby. My then six year old birth daughter
asked, “Well, are you adopting or pregnant?”
We had forever altered a child’s mind set about how babies make
families.
I will say, however unpopular the statement is, that unless you
are prepared to set your own needs aside, you should not adopt. Frankly,
you should not parent. But most certainly, you should not knowingly,
willingly, and over the course of years, proceed with a focused decision to
incorporate another life into your own unless you are willing to also incorporate
the lives of the birth family. Would you do this to your own birth
child? Limit their access and knowledge to their history and
genetics? Curtail their emotional needs out of your own fear? You
must accept that your adopted child is blissfully, happily, ecstatically yours
to raise and love and nurture.
They also have two other parents.
Every Mother’s Day, and truthfully, all other days, I am mortified
by how I entered the adoption process: my own perceived need to have another
child being the focus. I will always and forever be indebted to
Tiffany for trusting me to raise her birth daughter, but my true gratefulness
is that this young woman, with every possible trial and tribulation in her
midst, showed me what being a mom is. Tiffany, at age 17, demonstrated
more maturity and devotion than I have ever seen in any ‘grown up’.
Five years later, much to the shock of physicians everywhere, I
delivered a sweet little 8 pound bundle. The only person I wanted to see
in the world was Tiffany. Watching her hold my birth child, while I was
raising hers, forever sealed the motherhood between us. It didn’t take a new
baby to make a new mom, it took another mother.
I wish her all the joy and wonder in the world on this
Mother’s Day.”